Couldn't let it pass without comment.

The past week was a bit of hell at home with my children. I had four sick one day, then one sick for a whole week. There was a war zone with the school and it just seemed like everything was going to the wall. I seriously sat myself down and said, "What's going on here???"

Then as I reviewed what was happening I realised that I was responsible. Sure I had raged that the world was unfair. That if only my children would support me, if only my son would poo in the toilet and my daughter get better quicker. It wasn't my fault my house was disorganised, after all I was running as fast as I could to keep up with things. But at the end of my raging, I once again realised I was responsible. It was my job to organise my house, to help my children achieve social acceptance and to decide what I did and didn't allow in my life.

So taking commando action, I rallied my children together and I gave them the enough is enough speech. They saw me on the edge of something mega bad and responded accordingly. We worked as a team and in half a day the house was back in order. Then I could think straight. I also felt so much kinder towards them because I was no longer resenting them for making the mess, as they were also taking responsibility for their part.

This morning I got up and went for a walk with a friend. Michelle is one of the women on my Commando Kick Butt Challenge team and I so appreciated her strength and encouragement. She encouraged me walk faster than I would have and to keep striding it out. She encouraged me to run up the sand dunes which just about exploded my heart! She encouraged me to not think about the pain but focus on the gain!

When I came back from my walk I noticed that getting the children's breakfast and lunches made was no longer a chore. I was really awake and feeling vitality rushing through my veins. It also helped me to eat the right kind of breakfast to increase my protein intake. I am so grateful to Michelle for helping me to get my day in order.

As I am drinking more water, increasing my exercise and watching what I eat, I am finding I feel lighter on my feet, my attitude towards life is changing and I can't wait to see what tomorrow holds. But I think the vital element in all of this is that I am no longer neglecting what is most important here - my health, my responsibilities, my family.

It bears thinking about. What are you doing daily to contribute to the longevity of yourself and your family? What are you doing to take responsibility for your situation, no matter how bad or unfair it is?

Randy Pausch shared this piece of wisdom he learned from one of the men he worked under. When your critics stop criticising it is a sign that they have stopped caring about you and have written you off. As I see the school, my husband, my children, my friends through these eyes, it helps me to take responsibility for my part in any aggravated situation.

I'd love to hear your thoughts on this, so please comment.

How to become the superwoman of your chosen profession.

Photo courtesy of Jyn Meyer, http://jynmeyer.com/

Someone recently asked me how you can become the superwoman of your chosen profession?

As a superwoman in the making, or so I would like to think when I'm out there consulting in the business world, I thought I'd let them share in my powerful career strategies, as they seemed to be working for me.

Career Strategy 1: You are what you believe.
If you want to succeed, make sure what you believe matches the destination you are seeking. In my experience, a woman has to work harder and smarter to make the same inroads as a man in the work place, so get over it and start focusing your attention on the prize! Like an actor on a stage, you have to own your space. If you believe the character you are portraying, others will too. The more passionate you are about your goals, the more others will become the bridge to you reaching them.

Career Strategy 2: Plan ahead.
Like anything in life, if you plan, you are more likely to reach your target.

Dr Stephen Covey, in his book The Seven Habits of Highly Effective
People states, "Begin with the end in Mind"

Kind of like getting into your car and taking out the road map and working out the quickest route to your destination. It may mean putting the idea of children on hold or going back to college to learn new skills. If you take the time to plan, at least you will be able to see how achievable your dream is. Then once you have your plan in place, it is time to get started and to keep track of how you are going, through regular reviews.

Career Strategy 3: Place yourself in the company of those who will help you succeed.
It was no accident that Richard Branson, from the Virgin empire, became rich. He became the master of networking and association. If you read his biography, he proves how effective name-dropping and association with successful people can be in promoting yourself and your products. If you aspire to be a leader, then get amongst the leaders. If you aspire to be a brilliant scientist, then give yourself the best opportunity by aligning yourself with people who are on the cutting edge. Join a professional group or association. Then use all your charm to let people know you are in the market and adopt a 50:50 giving mentality.

Career Strategy 4: Work smarter not harder
Gifted with so much when it comes to being resourceful and creative, women are able to bring all of their mothering instincts to the workplace. Adopt professional standards when it comes to customer service, but temper them with your woman's intuition. If there are changes that you see could or should be made to streamline processes, let the appropriate person know and offer to implement them. A positive contributor to a team is always in hot demand.

Career Strategy 5: Watch Your Words
An unwise woman squanders opportunities by saying inappropriate things. If you can bridle your tongue, when you do speak your words will have weight.

Career Strategy 6: Always Follow Through
Deliver on what you promise. If you earn a reputation for getting it done, chances are your door will be the first knocked on when an opportunity arises.

Career Strategy 7: Keep Your Life in Balance
You may want to be a superwoman but you are not super human! Unlike a Barbie doll that has a lifetime guarantee, women can wear out, so it is important to establish some boundaries in your life and decide what they are going to be ahead of things. This is doubly important if you are working and raising a family as children can really suffer when their mothers are more devoted to their careers. As a child who grew up with a full-time working mother, I can honestly say that time was the one thing she was never able to give me and it has marked my life.

I firmly believe you can accomplish things you never thought were possible once
you put your mind to it.

There may be some obstacles to overcome along the way, unfortunately, that is life. How boring would it be if you never had to overcome anything? You'd never grow because it is adversity that makes us strong. Think about an exercise program. What builds your muscles? Resistance. Life builds are resilience and our muscles if we don't give up because we think it's all too hard. Dust off your superwoman outfit, because if you implement my suggestions, you are now dressed and ready for action.

Is your personality your contraceptive?

I once heard a male say to a girlfriend of mine who was very beautiful but also very catty:

“You don't have to worry, your personality is your contraceptive!”

We all laughed because we were young and stupid. Reflecting back, my thoughts are drawn to the struggle this young woman had. She was so attractive on the outside, yet unattractive on the inside. What was her world like? Did she know how unattractive her attitude was? Was it a defense against a world that overwhelmed her with its attention? Would she have been able to change if she wanted to? When I think about her family, I can see no reason why she was the way she was, as they were kind, loving people. Did she daily choose her attitude or did she feel a victim of her circumstances?

This leads me to the question,"Is there such a thing as 'improving your personality'"? Are you simply born the way you are and you journey through life without changing? You know, if you're young and rebellious, you're always going to be rebellious, right? Loud and obnoxious young person, loud and obnoxious adult!

History tells me that yes, we are born with a certain plethora of natural giftings and personality styles, but a lot of who we are is environmentally and experientially learned. There is no reason why someone with a loud voice can’t learn to taper the volume and tone of their voice with practice. If we are capable of learning from our environment and from trial and error, I can see no reason why you can’t improve yourself, no matter how great your deficiencies. The key here is that life has to give us feedback about our behaviour for us to desire change.

I know for me that I improved myself from the moment that I learned to reflect upon the feedback that the world was giving me about myself. I deliberately said reflect here, because not all feedback is truth. As you invite feedback from people you trust, and you sift this feedback, you start to see your blind spots. The day that you own these lumps in your life, is the day that you start to desire to change them.

I vividly remember turning 35 and having a paradigm shift. I had a journal in front of me and I wrote these words…

“I will no longer apologise for being me. I accept myself, worts, bumps, wrinkles, failures, strengths and disappointments. I will never apologise again for existing, only for hurting others by bad decisions.”

These words written down were somehow very liberating. I’d spent all of my life saying sorry to everyone. I would miss the ball at tennis and I’d say sorry to the person who had just scored a point. Why? They weren’t sorry that I missed the ball! If I showed any inadequacy at all I would apologise. I would turn myself inside out to win people's approval, always putting my needs and those I cared most about second to the person I wanted to impress. Somewhere along the way I realised that others weren’t doing that. That others would be themselves, regardless of how their actions were interpreted and got away with it. This is the person that I wanted to be; the confident person that could make a decision and take responsibility for it.

I have met scores of women in my lifetime who are living in the shadow of their partners, their children, their siblings, their parents, apologising for their existence. My message for you girls is that you have value. It’s time to own yourself, worts and all, and to stop apologising for being. You have the right to try, even if you don’t always do things perfectly.

I’d love to hear your thoughts on the subject, so please comment.

Feel free to join my network, Women Can International, at www.womencaninternational.ning.com or visit my website, www.upfrontenterprises.com.