They told me I had a blod clot or cancer...

Although it was not true, I had to endure a whole weekend as if my life were under threat.

Over the past weekend I spent some time in hospital. I had pain in my back and chest and breathing hurt. I went to the emergency department and they had trouble diagnosing the problem, but thought it could it may be a blod clot on my lung.So over the following two days I was admitted to the novelty pin cushion ward (as my husband described it). I had a chest X-ray and then they did an MRI scan, which incidentally burst a vein, so I ended up with toxic radiation in my body swimming around, leaving the whole scan inconclusive. I had two bungs in my arm and my hand, they took copious blood samples, urine samples and just about every other procedure, including a rectal treatment! I mean, I was given the works. The worst part was the blood thinning injections to my stomach, which stung like you wouldn't believe.

On Sunday, a professor came to see me. I was lying in bed in my new pj's that a girlfriend had purchased for me. They were really lovely but the top was a size or two too small, so my breasts were bulging out of the top and it had a lovely over jacket that I was wearing to cover everything up. The professor was the kind of man that was in your personal space, looking at you like you were an insect under a microscope. I felt very invaded. He asked me to take off the jacket so he could examine me. I did so with much embarasment as my assets were all out there for the nurse, doctor in training and the professor to see. It was probably one of the most uncomfortable medical examinations I've ever been through and that's saying something because I've given birth four times, had a miscarriage, a tubal ligation and gaul bladder removal!

Suffice to say, by the end of the examination he declared that I only had a pulled muscle and that it was not anything fatal or serious. This was after me being led to believe that the scan had revealed either a blood clot or cancer on my lungs. I grabbed my stuff and got out of that hospital as fast as my legs could carry me.

I was grateful for all the care they provided but very disappointed that I'd missed out on my retreat to my friend Grace's house with my other great girlfriend Jayne which we'd planned for a pampering weekend!

What I don't regret about the weekend is what I learned about gratitude.

The woman next to me, who was in there with kidney failure and diabetes, taught me a lot about my life. She didn't say anything significant. She only shared with me how she is a regular in the hospital for kidney dialysis and treatment for her diabets. She's been a diabetic for 20 years. I observed the copious injections, tablets, and routines that accompanied her condition. I watched as her family arrived, so looking forward to taking her out of the hospital for a couple of hours to see a movie and the disappointment when the doctor said it was not a good idea.

In the short time I was there I realised just how finite life is and how short the time is when we have able bodies. I was also surrounded by bedridden old people. I realised just have much that I have taken my health for granted. I realised that I have taken my husband for granted and my kids and really not valued them like I should. Significant life lessons, not because I was dying but because I witnessed the debilitation other people suffer every day because of sickness.

This experience has caused me to rexamine my priorities and I thought this journey worthy of recording here.

What are we missing out on in life?

We say we realise that we only have the promise of this moment we are living in, but are we really capturing the moment and squeezing everything out of it? Time passes so quickly. I don't want to miss another opportunity to enjoy my family.

What about you? Is there time to be angry, to not forgive, to have broken relationships? The time spent in these attitudes robs you of the opportunity of having a loving and joyous experience with those that care about you the most.

Something to ponder...

Now I've heard them all!

I've heard some excuses for losing emails in my time, but this one takes the prize! Read on to learn more...

I was asked by an online friend to help her out with some graphics for her business. I just saw how her product could be improved by a few simple design changes, so I let her know I was willing to help her.


Well, after slaving away at the changes, I popped off an email to her to show her the outcomes. Here is the before and after shots of her before and after shots.

So, I attached the images to an email and sent them off to my friend.

A short time later I received an email and this is what it said...

Hayley, I am so sorry, I can't believe my stupid cat. I was looking at your
email with the pics, and he walked right across my keyboard and I lost your
letter with pics! I have looked in trash, folders, done a total computer search
and the letter has just disappeared. He is in such trouble!
Can you resend me the email?

Now when I called her on this being the best excuse I've heard yet, this is what she responded with...

LOL!! I swear! I even had my husband come look for the mysterious disappearing email and it has vanished!! And yes the cat is still in trouble, making a difference from my husband being in trouble! Maybe you should write about this on the forum. Encouraging other funny internet stories. True stories of course!!

There is an old saying, "Me thinks she protests too much!" Barbara, I have taken your advice and shared your excuse with the world. Now I await to see what other great excuses people have come up with to avoid the consequences of responding to an email.

And by the way, your cat may hate you but your husband is grateful for the cat!

Loneliness - Is it an epidemic?

I was recently featured in the local newspaper for Women Can International Inc to promote our free membership month. Here is the article that went to print.

What pursued has shocked and amazed me. I have received over 45 telephone calls from women in the community wanting to join the Association for a variety of reasons but for the majority it was because they are lonley and isolated, finding it difficult to make new friends.

One woman shared her story about how she had children now, but had grown up with a circle of friends that had been best friends for the past 20 years. Unfortunately, her girlfriends had started to use the drug ICE and she was concerned about the safety of her children and consequently, has had to leave those friendships. This story in particular broke my heart because I could feel the loss she was experiencing in losing her closest friends to such an evil drug.

There were others who had children under school age that had isolated them; those whose husbands were working away from home; those who had injuries that had takent hem out of their usual routines, causing them to be isolated and needy; and those who were experiencing a change in their life, be it moving to a new location or their children growing up and moving on. The common thread was that they felt lonley and wanted to reach out to other women and form partnerships.

My question is, what are we doing as a society that people should be in our suburbs suffering like this? It is an indictment upon us that we have not cared enough to reach out to our neighbours and their neighbours.

I recently moved to Kinross and this area is full of children, who don't seem to have the problem of meeting and making new friends quite as badly as adults do. Because of my children I have interacted with most of my neighbours and continue daily to meet new people in my area. Perhaps we could learn something from their naivety, as they do not assume that everyone they meet is going to rape, murder or steal from them. What has happened that we have communities so fraught with distrust?

I am hoping to make a positive difference through Women Can International Inc. I just want to challenge you to take 5 minutes out of your day to call a friend you haven't heard from in a while to make sure that they are not feeling lonely and isolated. It may be the best five minutes that you have ever spent. With so many contemplating suicide, your care may be the difference between life and death. Care costs little to give but is priceless for the receiver.

Come join me at Women Can International Inc

I'd love to hear your thoughts, ladies.

View my page on Women Can International

Amazing Grace, the Butcher that Bakes

I just have to share with you my weekend...

Started out pretty ordinary.

My kids and I, waiting around for the husband to assume childcaring detail after working til lunch time, so I could begin my big adventure.

Eventually he arrived and after a few quick housekeeping issues were sorted out, I exited for a weekend at my friend, Grace Maiolo's home.

For those who have been reading the Women Can International Inc newsletter, you will know that Grace was Women Can International Inc's February Woman of Influence Award recipient. Having stayed overnight in her home, I can verify that this woman is truly amazing!

Grace Maiolo, cracking open the bubbly!

Let me describe my overnight stay with Grace (pictured above) so that you can really appreciate the woman and the wonderful opportunity that it was for me.

Firstly, Grace's day begins at 3:30am, when she gets up and goes to the shop to cut up the meat for the day. She then serves in the butcher shop until 3:30pm on a good day or 5pm on a normal day. This is a routine she has maintained 7 days a week for over 30 years. When asked how many hours she sleeps, she said, "A couple of hours of good sleep does me." When I asked her, "Don't you get tired?" She responded, "Not until I sit down."

Now you have to understand that I have seen this lady in action. She can cater for a crowd of over 90 people, as she did for the 6PR Offle Afternoon and not sit down once the whole day! She just goes and goes and goes and is so passionate about making the people around her feel wonderful.

Back to the weekend. She finished work at 3:30pm and rushed home, grabbed a quick shower and when I arrived at 4:15pm, she had the appearance of simple stress-free elegance and you would have no idea she's been cutting up carcases and working in a butcher's shop all day. Further, the table is laid especially for me, the house has been prepared for me and she has taken particular care to make sure that my every need has been catered for! Not only that, she concentrated her whole focus on me and making me feel special, wanted and very loved. Her broad grin and welcoming hug made me feel like I'd come home to a long lost friend and i just knew from the moment I walked in the front door that I was in for a huge treat because of the warmth and generosity of the woman. It's almost like a physical embrace - I've never met anyone who has the gift of hospitality as strong as Grace does. Nothing is a problem for Grace. Her positivity is uplifting.

The beautiful wood table we dined at!

Her home, an elegant house with a lot of beautiful Jarrah woodwork, is filled with strong wooden furniture. The central furniture piece is the large wooden dining table that seats 10 and has seen countless dinner party guests have their fill of her fine fare. A very solidly built table, as I sat down I wondered what stories it would tell of the many dinners and diners Grace has hosted.

Her kitchen, Grace's favourite room in the house, is well stocked and there is everything a woman needs for entertaining within easy grasp. Check out my quick snaps of the table she had laid just for me (above) and of her pantry that she uses for her entertaining ware! (below)

Grace's Pantry - Stocked for entertaining!

As the evening progresses, we are joined by her partner, Anthony. I am treated to a hot spa, a massage, gifts on the bedside table waiting for me (a box of chocolates and a gift box of sweet smelling body treats), the softest bathrobe imaginable is hung in the cupboard for me to don, with matching slip on slippers. Glasses of the finest champagne are served generously throughout the evening and more food than I could eat.

A simple entree, Grace style!

After all the fun and festivity, I retreat to the solitude of the upstairs guest room, which incidentally is as good, if not better, better than a 5 star luxury hotel room. In the suite upstairs there is a toilet, sink, fridge, pantry, sideboard with my favourite lollies, kettle, coffee cups, dining table, large screen television, classical music pumping out of a stereo, then in the bedroom there is a lounge suite, dressing table with beautiful lamp, wooden cupboard, and a king size bed, with a beautiful rich red and gold duvet, complete with white towels beautifully folded, with a face washer on top! Even thte toilet paper in the ensuite was folded back, hotel style.

Overall, a wonderful overnight jaunt, not to mention we cooked up some business
ventures together which are VERY exciting!

To see some more of Grace's wonderful fare, why not pop over to http://cookingwithgrace.net/. We launched her site while I was there and also her ning site, http://cookingwithgrace.ning.com/. You are welcome to sign up and enjoy her butcher's tips, recipes and discussions about food!