Have you ever been shopping, with four children in tow, a feat in itself, filled two trolleys full of groceries, arrived at the checkout, endured the frustration of being served by a new staff member, these days probably in their late 60's and technology challenged, and after enduring the 30 min swiping and bagging process, swiped your card and the word every woman fears pops up on the screen, "Declined"?
As a mother of four, who made the unwise decision to have a joint account with my husband for 11 years prior to our separation, many times mine has been the embarrassment of having to come up with a good excuse for a checkout chick who has heard them all before. In my opinion, joint account should read, "Double Trouble", as how can anyone know how much money is in an account that can be accessed by two cards? I guess that may be a story about my relationship with my husband, so we'll quickly not go there!
I was out last night at my girlfriends for a dip in the pool, a meal and a good belly laugh!
I was telling the girls about this blog and my idea to write about the embarrassing situations us women find ourselves in. When I asked them if they had ever had the embarrassment of standing at a checkout, after filling a trolley or two with groceries, only to swipe and have your card declined, all hands shot up around the table and people started to giggle as the memories floated back.
Taking the plunge, I asked what excuses they used. Here are some of the responses.
One lady reported she nonchalantly said to the checkout chick,
"Whose card is that?"
Which she went on to say,
"Damn, there's no such thing as good customer service anymore. Just wait til I find that young lady that served me..."
At this point she grabs the card and marches off in the direction of other shops, all the time knowing full well it was her overspending on the way to the supermarket that had gotten her into hot water!
Another said,
"Can we try for a smaller amount?"
After six smaller amounts, she realised that perhaps her hubby had got there first and red-faced, as the queue was now quite long and people were getting antsy, she smiled at the cashier and said,
"Sorry. I guess I'll have to come back another time"
, leaving her two trolley loads of swiped and bagged goods behind and making a mental note to kill her husband when she caught up with him.
I think the most classic line I heard was,
"Don't you know who I am?"
Although a pretty blonde, she certainly was not Paris Hilton, so I guess they were not going to let her off for wanting to take the goods away without having to pay! Working in the entertainment industry, she had her fair share of divas, so why not emulate them?
Another interesting bent was the line,
"I'm sorry. It's an overseas bank account. Do you mind if I use your phone to call them to see what's happening?"
This was met with a roar of laughter around the table. Can't you just picture the poor 15 year old pimply faced checkout chick or as may be the case these days, checkout rooster's face, when this request comes from their customer? I picture the wheels turning upstairs and the eyes glazing over as the fob off falls outside the norm of,
"Oops, sorry" and "Try it again, please."
On the issue of the classic line,
"Try it again, please"
one lady says it with the tone of "You must be incompetent because the error is definitely on your part. Swipe the damn thing properly!" I guess her thought is attack is the best form of defense!
Speaking of checkout roosters, a young male sitting at the table who works in retail became the focus of my attentions as I quizzed him about what lines people usually use on him when this happens. He told me how audacious people can be. Some customers have the audacity to ask him if they could use his computer to transfer some cash across. Can you imagine a customer asking,
"Mind if I go online?"
When we asked if he lets them, he said, "Sure, why not?"
The perfect get out of jail quick card for me is,
"There must be a problem at the bank. Can you hold the goods and I'll be back for them later?"
This is definitely a time wasting pacifier on my part, as if I don't have the money in the card in the morning, there is no way it's going to be there by the afternoon, unless of course there is a magical mix up at the bank. No, Hayley, you're living in fairy land if you think that will happen! Unfortunately, I do feel rather guilty for the poor girl who lugged my two trolley loads of goods out the back, carefully sorting the frozen goods from the standard items the week after Christmas. In this case, I'd overspent on Christmas and purchased the kids back to school equipment and clothing a fortnight early in the name of being more organised this year, my New Year's resolution! I guess I was just hopeful that some money would mysteriously appear in my account...
I think the most embarrassing situation where I have had my card declined was after filling my car with fuel. There was a queue out the door of people wanting to pay for their fuel. I made the journey from the back of the queue to the front, only to have my card declined. The poor, stressed out console operator looked at me with a chilling glare, as I said,
"My husband must have got to the account first. Can I pay later today?"
Taking a deep breath, they get down the black book where they keep people's I.O.U's and laboriously fill in your details. It's not so bad having to fill in the form, but it's the queue of waiting people behind and the cars lined up behind your car at the bowser that is the most embarrassing.
How observant are children? You know that your training has paid off when you are standing at the checkout, you have four hungry and thirsty children with you and they stand with their iceblocks and drinks waiting for the words we all long to read on the terminal, "Approved". How many times have I told them all, "Don't open anything until it's been paid for!" I will never forget the look of anxiety on my eldest daughter's face, as she held her iceblock, desperate to open it and eat, but unsure if the card would stand up to the bill. It made me realise how easily our children are shaped by what they see.
Let me know your embarrassing "Declined" experiences. Leave a comment.
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